Kirsti Procter

Yes. It’s really not the most jolly blog entry I’ve ever created and it’s very sad that it’s all had to come to a premature end. This will most likely be my last entry so I hope to sum up the catalogue of events that got me to this point, my reasons for having to hang up my boots and where I’m looking to go and what I hope to achieve in the future.

So here goes…..

I’ve spent a most fantastic summer and early winter working on a small eventing yard in a picturesque Oxfordshire village, working hard but gaining a wealth of experience and enjoyment out of doing so. I’ve achieved a lot of firsts this year. Having my own, very beautiful horse; switching jobs from the comfort of my local Riding Centre that has been my ‘local haunt’ for the last 11 years and taking a leap into a completely new equestrian environment; making Head Girl; successfully grooming at events and travelling abroad to my first International; learning new tricks and improving my work ‘ethos’; the list goes on and on. Perhaps, and possibly most fundamentally, I never got to achieve my one aim – to compete in an ‘event’. My poor horse developed problems in her feet that put pay to the eventing season of ‘09 and, sadly, never resolved themselves. That aside, I can’t be too disappointed being as I was presented with so many experiences just in the job itself. It wasn’t, and never will be, a waste of a summer. Perhaps the complete opposite. In October, with my horse still on box rest and light work, I went out for a quiet hack around the fields (as I had done on many an occasion through the summer) and the little cherub bucked me off. A pretty average fall as far as falls go but it must just have been the way I landed because I’d bust my collar bone. X-rays revealed it wasn’t just a crack but the bone was in 3 pieces. After 2 weeks wait, then surgery and about 3 weeks off to recover I was back at work but with bad news. All through the summer I’d been suffering with chronic back ache, but not lower back pain as is associated with most equestrianists (I think I just made that word up), but upper back pain which, as it turns out is the reason why I can’t sit up straight on a horse. I have had back pain for as long as I can remember (at least the last 8 years – no exaggeration) and not been able to sit up straight on a horse for almost the same length of time. I tried a chiropractor whilst at uni but even he couldn’t ‘crunch’ me back into shape – I’d been wonky for so long that the muscles had become tight around the problem area and no matter how much the chiro pushed and pulled and crunched he couldn’t get the vertebrae to return to where they should be. But, being as stubborn minded as I am, I carried on regardless. I figured, that with having time off with my collar bone my back would sort itself out – it would be the break it needed. However, at the end of my 5 weeks off it was still twinging. One trip to the doctor later and I was left with a pretty big decision. Leave my job to find something less physical or carry on and risk lasting damage. At 24, risking my back seemed like too much of an ask. And my job had to go. Rhapsody had already been moved closer to home so I could visit while I was ’laid up’ so I didn’t have to immediately worry about her welfare. As it happens she couldn’t be happier – she gets to eat all day, get patted and fussed over by everyone, and spoilt by me with carrots and apples.

So, there I was, having to hand in my notice, trying to work with one and half arms, and bowing out more than a year sooner than I expected. It was a rubbish time. The new girl turned out to be huge amounts of fun, worked hard and knew what she was doing (which made my life a lot easier when it came to passing on my ‘knowledge’ to the ‘next generation’ workforce) and we got on really well. It would have been far easier to leave if she was useless and lazy. But no! Obviously, that’s still a good thing!! Not only have I had to put down my job but I’ve had to stop horses for the immediate future. Hopefully not the riding, but certainly working with them.

What am I going to do instead? Something office-based I think. If it were possible to feel it in my current situation, I’d probably feel a little smug. I won’t lie, an office job in winter away from the wet and cold and mud that comes with a true British winter sounds quite appealing. But in my heart of hearts I think I’d actually quite like to still be working with horses – if summer was a year-round thing!! I’ve already applied to several positions all relating to Sales and Marketing (and the Temping side of Wilshire County Council as a back-up) – a wise friend said I’d probably have a good head in that field so I took their advice – I had no clue where to start looking for jobs so I was grateful of any ’shove’ in any direction.

After sending in my C.V. one day, I was phoned to arrange an interview for the following day! And the job’s only in Swindon. I have a second interview for the job on the 4th January – an all day interview shadowing a member of staff both in the office and out and about. With the news not so long ago that for every job available there are an average of 25 applicants I’m not expecting to get the job straight away. That said, it doesn’t mean I’m going to just rest on my laurels in any interview. As when working with horses, I’m not one to just sit around and wait for things to happen. I’m more than prepared to go out and make things happen.

Thank you to everyone that tried to make my ambitions come true.

Rhapsody has been, after what has seemed like an age of too-ing and fro-ing, finally booked in for an M.R.I. scan. That’s Magnetic Resonance Imaging to you and me but how it works exactly is any-one’s guess. In fact, if anyone knows could they let me know??

She was seen and a report written by my vet, the report sent to the Insurance company who then came back to us saying that actually an M.R.I. scan could be and would be paid for by the insurance company. D’oh.

So I went running back to my vet asking for him to re-write his report saying that she could have an M.R.I. and where, that was then sent to me, who sent it back to the Insurance company. It’s a good job the internet and telephone system was invented or there would be some very tired little postie/telegram man/horse and cart, rushing all over the south of England with my post!

I’m very reliably informed that Rhapsody’s heading for her scan tomorrow – I believe she’s ‘knocked out’ for the procedure as she has to be laying down for it to happen. While she’s (reasonably) well trained I don’t think she ‘rolls over’ and  ’plays dead’ on command!

So. Me. I’m back to John Radcliffe on the 22nd to be completely signed off for my collar bone. I’ve healed well. Well, I think I’ve healed well. Considering I should have been in a sling for 3 weeks (I was in a sling for 4 days), and lifting nothing more than a cup of tea with my right arm for 6 weeks (I was back at work in less than 3 weeks after my operation and mucking out less than 10 days after that!) - my scar looks ‘good’ by scar standards. I owe it to my surgeon, he did a bloody good job. The end of the scar closest to my shoulder has widened a little (I was told that might happen), and I still have reduced feeling in 2 fingers, and a small section under my scar still has no feeling but I’m fine otherwise. The loss of feeling might not come back, but I’m not hugely worried – my fingers are still working so that’s all that’s important really.

Other than that my real bombshell is that I’ve had to give up my job. I’m devastated about it really. I am, and have been, suffering from (chronic) back pain for a long time. This summer has been the worst but because I have been loving my job and ultimately working towards my goal of getting out and competing on my beloved horse I’ve dosed up on pain killers and kept going. My accident gave my back time to settle down again although at the end of 5 weeks at home my back was still causing me pain. A trip to the doctor later told me that, without closer examination, I was potentially putting myself at risk of serious damage that would come back and haunt me in my not-too-later life. Had Rhaposody been absolutely fine and sound then I would have carried on regardless of the pain, but with my accident and her being lame it gave me chance to assess exactly where I am and work out where I want to go from here.

Ultimately, I miss my horse terribly and want her back

I have been apprehensive about going back to work. I left my boss in an awkward situation and I was embarrassed about the whole thing. That, and being out of the job for 5 weeks, I felt like a new girl starting all over. Having gone from Head Girl and ‘my yard’, I was still thought of as head girl but didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel like I could walk in and get things back to where I had left them, like it wasn’t my place to do so. I couldn’t go in and ‘throw my weight around’. I hadn’t been there for 5 weeks and it wasn’t ‘my yard’ anymore. At least not in my head.

All was forgiven. No grudges, no animosity at my inconvenient timing or stupidity, yet I couldn’t shift the embarrassment on my part. It was a weird feeling and I took a while to get back into it. Only natural, some might say, but it was still an unpleasant feeling.

So, once I was up to speed on yard ‘happenings’, I ‘donned’ the jodphurs. At least I tried to. I know I’d been off for 5 weeks and put on an inevitable ‘few pounds’, but my jods told a different story. For one horrifying moment I thought I was going to have to lay down to get them on!

Obviously, what I’d like to think had happened was that, as well as putting on a few pounds, my jods were not long since washed and had shrunk a little (lot) in the wash. And I’m sure they were tumble-dried too so they’d got a bit tight that way.

Now I’m back in full swing of work I’m much happier. And news on Rhapsody…. she’s off for an MRI scan to see if we can pin-point the exact problem. It’s at times like this you thank whoever is it you choose to ‘worship’ for insurance cover. An MRI isn’t cheap. But the vet has said this is the next course of action and the insurance company is happy to cover the cost. Maybe now we can finally have some definite answers.

I’m making the most of the fact I can now drive again so I can go and see my pony without having to drag my poor (slightly uninterested) parents with me for the privilege.

With her being left at work, and with a busy yard still in full swing, Rhapsody wasn’t everyone’s top priority and naturally looked a little ’scruffy’. Thankfully, with madame being moved closer to home, and with my right arm healing fast, AND once I was able to drive to see her myself, I wanted to spend more time with her (now I didn’t feel I had my parents tutting, taping their feet and clock watching while they were there with me). As I’m under strict instructions not to ride at least until I am signed off in December, the most I can to is ‘play’.

I was left one morning to play and pat my pony and I was questioned about getting on my horse. How I most definitely wasn’t to do it. There were a few things ‘wrong’ with this. 1) The weather. It was blowing a gale and not only have I become a wimpy, fair-weather rider, but I also do not have a death wish (given her track record) to wish to get on when it is anything more than flat calm weather. 2) I had no tack – it was however pointed out to me that there is a tack room and I could have just grabbed any set if I really felt the urge. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me – it is a working yard after all. Perhaps I’m a little slow on the uptake!! Well, I know I can be a little slow on the uptake! 3) No hat. I’m not completely suicidal!!

So, while I was left to my own, not-riding devices I did what I was capable of doing. Cutting, pulling and trimming. Wow. How (not) very exciting! Rhapsody thought the same too. She, unsurprisingly, wasn’t interested in her owner ‘playing’ and just generally being annoying, and would have been far happier eating. I can see where she’s coming from on that one! It’s a completely novel experience for me to have someone looking after my horse. That makes me a livery client and I feel a little surplus to requirements. Rhapsody loves it. She has a full hay net all the time and is surrounded by boys. Like I mentioned in an earlier post…. that’s heaven personified.

Dare I say it, and I’m a little ashamed to do so, Rhapsody’s getting far more attention than she’d had from me in a while :-S So not only am I a ’surplus to requirements’ livery owner, I’m not a very good ’surplus to requirements’ livery owner.

After quite a late night last night, getting up to be at my physiotherapy appointment at 8:00am was quite a tall order. Thankfully I managed to look half respectable and be coherent at the very least.

So, the appointment itself was a pretty short affair. After being told, post-op, that it had taken quite an effort to re-break my collar bone (apologies if you’re squeamish) I was planning a short period of recovery before I was ‘back to the daily grind’ given that I had healed so quickly to begin with. My physio ran through a series of basic ‘tests’ (arm movements to the front, side, behind and above) to determine my range of movement.

My surgeon told me I needed to spend 3 weeks in a sling, 3 weeks recuperating and then back to gentle work. I took pain killers for the first 2 days and then decided I could cope with the discomfort which, incidentally, rapidly dissipated anyway. 4 days after my operation I was gingerly trying my arm without my sling and I never looked back from there.

So my appointment this morning, 12 days since my operation and I have full range of movement, 90% strength and a rather redundant physiotherapist. She was rather amazed at the progress I have made in 12 days, how well I’ve healed and I’ve been given a clean bill of health. I’m back to work next week – perhaps not a moment too soon…. I’m getting rather accustomed to being at home and having an easy life. I think I need to go back to work and break the ‘lazy lifestyle habit!.

So, back to work for me and straight back to it!

It’s been exactly a week – almost to the hour in fact – since I had my long awaited operation. And I’m delighted to report I’m healing really well. I’ve maintained a considerable range of movement within my shoulder joint and the muscle wastage from 3 weeks of very little usage of my right arm is actually not as bad as I was expecting.

I’m under Doctor’s orders to keep my arm in a sling for the next 3 weeks – although I’m allowed to take my arm out of the sling to allow the muscles around my elbow joint, and the joint itself, to stretch and contract under the ‘normal’ position.

I did, however, make a considerable breakthrough yesterday…….. I discovered I was able to brush my teeth again with my right hand!!! I was so excited that I got quite carried away with brushing. On the upside, I don’t think my teeth have ever been so clean!!! It also means I can eat with my right hand and drink tea with my right hand. I’ve never been so grateful to have my right hand back!

As for madam in all of this. Well, she’s been moved closer to home – Hilcott in fact – and it’s so nice to have her much nearer. I can go and see her when I like (lift availability depending) and she’s very happy.

Why?

Ad lib hay and she’s surrounded by boys. That, my friends, is Rhapsody heaven.

For the moment she’s spending her time being fed, pampered and eating grass being a proper horse. True to Rhapsody form she’s got her custom poo-stain round her face – perhaps her ‘calling card’ or her ‘eau de toilette de Rhapsody’, something to impress the boys anyway. Well, it must work because the boys rather like her. This is all fine and she almost returns the interest, and then she gets some more hay. Game over boys. She’s got her list of priorities and boys aren’t top.

My priority (aside from my own health) is Rhapsody and she is very happy being a horse again after a long and very boring summer. The weather hasn’t made going in the field a very pleasant experience so she’s been grazed in hand between showers (if the weather has permitted) but she’s happy. Can’t get enough apparently.

…..the NHS found me a bed. My operation is tomorrow morning so it might be a while before I’m in any state to get back on here. Needless to say I don’t expect too much to happen.

But I am a little apprehensive. Given all that can go wrong I hope I come out ‘normal’ and in one piece!

I think that going as far as writing my will is a little overkill, but never the less…..

Wish me luck! :-S

Maybe I just have ‘the look’ but every person I have spoken to that has asked about my sling and the reason for it has asked if it was ‘horse-related’. It almost takes whatever fun there might be in this situation out of it, much more so when I say ‘Yes. My horse unceremoniously bucked me off’.

Now, being stuck at home – I can’t drive anywhere and can’t go back to work – I seem to be spending far more of my time at my local, chatting about the same old things just to get out of the house and have a change of scenery. However, over a slightly more inspirational glass of wine, last night we came up with a far more elaborate sounding excuse for my current ‘predicament’.

I was jousting!

What a great idea. Not only does it sound FAR more impressive but a lot more interesting too.

Anyway, after my ‘jousting’ incident I spent one afternoon in John Radcliffe A&E, and the following morning in John Radcliffe Trauma Unit with the request of being referred to RUH in Bath (closer to home than JR which was going to be easier as I was going to be at home until I’d recovered from the operation JR said I would need.

Thursday morning I was in RUH A&E and within 10 minutes I was seeing the triage nurse. I told him of my ‘jousting’ incident and that I had been offered, and accepted, the option of surgery to straighten everything out……… his response. No. We’ll leave you to heal. We don’t operate on collar bones, we leave them to heal naturally. We’ll book you an appointment with the fracture clinic for a week or two’s time and see how you’re getting on. If you’re not healing well then we’ll consider operating then. My response (in my head) ‘Fantastic. So two weeks ‘healing’ when I know I need this operating on so I have any chance of getting full strength back in my shoulder. Two weeks ‘healing’ that will just be a total waste of time because the bone will not have healed back where it should have done and will result in a ‘re-break’ to set it back where it should be’. At this point I felt like banging my head repeatedly against the nurses’ desk. Oh, and to top it off……. I had been taking pain killers that had yet to really touch me and resovle the pain issues I was having. Cue the nurse toddling off to get me more pain killers. Excellent. At least I’ll be pain-free.

Nope.

The pain killers he brought me were what I have been taking anyway. I tried to explain this but I was told they would have been stronger than what I would have previously had. And to top it off…… ‘that will be £7.20, please’. I looked at him blankly. Given that NHS treatment for injuries that come through the doors of A&E is free, silly me expected pain killers to be free too. Fancy that. That’s my lesson learnt anyway!

So, cue the request for a second opinion given that I wasn’t happy just to be ‘left to heal’ and being told, in no uncertain terms that, the RUH does not operate on collar bones. I made a phone call back to JR asking if they would please take me back (yes, I almost did sound that pathetic on the phone!).

Back to JR we went (bless my chauffer-ing parents who are having to drive me everywhere) and I got booked in for my operation. Potentially, everything can go wrong with this operation, but the doctor smiled and told me the chances of all that happening were incredibly slim. ‘Trust me, I’m a Doctor’ sprang to mind.

Anyway, I’m told to expect a phone call in a few days which will require me to be in hospital for mid evening that day and for my operation to happen the following morning. Excellent. Or so I thought.

Friday came, then friday lunchtime and still no phone call. Nothing was likely to happen over the weekend so ok. Monday. Fingers crossed for monday. Monday came, then monday lunchtime came…. and went. I phone the hospital (just in case, as far as they were concerned, my case had fallen off their radar), and I asked if they had any idea when I might expect a phone call. ‘Nothing yet I’m afraid, but we could provisionally say midweek’. Wednesday came, and that went too. So I phoned Thursday. ‘Nothing I’m afraid. We’ll let you know when we have a bed free’, translates to ‘Please stop pestering us, we don’t have space, we’ll call you when we do’.

And this is where I am now. 15 days since I was involved in a jousting accident – see, it just sounds so much more exciting – and I’m still stuck, mooching about, unable to do most things. My shoulder’s healing nicely. In the wrong place, at the wrong angle, and god knows where the third little bit of pone has floated off to. It could be anywhere by now! But chances are it’s not where it’s supposed to be.

So. If there’s anyone out there that would be a willing volunteer for D.I.Y. surgery then please let me know. The local landlord has offered plenty of booze to knock me out (I have to pay for it of course!!), and metal brackets and a few screws to fix it all back in place, but I could do with someone that’s good at sewing. So if you would like to help, please contact me!!!

I now know why Private healthcare came to be!

No sooner is Rhapsody quite possibly on the road to recovery then she/I go and do something that has been described as ’stupid’.

I fell off. And not just a simple fall. Well, the fall was simple, the outcome considerably more complicated. I have broken my right collar bone into 3 pieces and I’m off full work for, at best 6 weeks, at worst 12 weeks. Not good news.

So, this was last wednesday. Here I am now. A week on and still with a broken collar bone. John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford wanted to operate to straighten it all out, and I asked for referral to RUH in Bath as it’s closer to home (where I plan to spend my recovery). Where JR wanted to operate, RUH just wanted to sit back and watch and wait to see what happened. I’m no doctor but with a collar bone in 3 pieces, surely that will not all fall in to place and fix well. Funnily enough, it won’t. And, particularly in this line of work, it’s very important to have as close to full strength in my shoulders as possible.

Unsurprisingly unhappy with the outcome RUH had in mind, I booked back in at JR and had another appt. today. And the good news….. my operation will happen in the next few days. The bad news…. I didn’t realise there could be quite so much that could go wrong with a ’simple’ pinning and plating of a bone:

There’s a major blood vessel running under the collar bone – that could be nicked by a shard of bone or knife/pin/plate

I could end up with a punctured lung – again, by bone/knife/pin/plate

Nerve damage in my right arm

Neurological damage (if they’re really going for gold!)

My horse has a lot to answer for!

Recovery period here I come.

If anyone has any questions or comments they would like to ask/make then please feel free. I won’t lie. I’m being overwhelmed with comments….. but they’re trying to sell me Viagra and, well, the two subjects – horses and viagra – aren’t directly linked (at least not to my knowledge)!! So please feel free to drop me a line if there’s anything you want to know, or even just feed back on my blog page.

Happy reading.